Aurum Hope

This is a very hard post to write. But it needs to be written. I dread the thought of forgetting, and for some reason it is painful to think that others may not remember. But I don't ever want to forget.

hush little baby

don't you cry
the angels will whisper a lullaby 

hush my dear baby

in God's arms

for there he will keep you away from harm 

hush little angel

hush my dear

someday up in heaven i'll hold you near

-mommy, june 2013

We lost a little baby a year ago to this day. We weren't that far along in the pregnancy, and it's crushing to know that many people out there would claim that he was never a child. He was so precious to us; so wanted.

Memorial for Unborn Children

And the grief is real. The tears slowed down as the months passed, but they have a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. When everybody else has moved on, you find yourself being caught off guard and clutched by grief once more, and you shed a few silent tears that no one else will ever see. 

And part of you feels wrong for crying when you have so many things to be happy and thankful for.

"And to think, when his little eyes opened the first thing he saw was the face of Jesus." - Unknown

His life was so short, but it was so precious to us. He made us very happy the short time he was here, and I want to remember that.

"They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown." - Zechariah 9:16

We named the baby Aurum Hope. It seemed important to give him a name. David bought me a diamond ring engraved with the name, which is pictured above. It's a beautiful memorial I can carry with me.

With your final heartbeat,

Kiss the world goodbye

Then go and peace and laugh on glory's side.

Fly to Jesus!

Fly to Jesus!

Fly to Jesus and live! 

 

We like to name our babies with names based on people or things from the Bible. "Aurum" is latin for gold. He is named for the street of gold in heaven. "Hope" is for our desire to meet him there. 

The world may never notice 

If a rosebud never blooms;

Or even pause to wonder

If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,

Or ever comes to be 

Touched the world in some small way

For all eternity.

The little ones we longed for

Were swiftly here and gone.

But the love that was then planted

Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,

Our hearts know what to do

Every beating of my heart says

"I remember you."

- Unknown